It is often said that finding out that your child has got additional needs is akin to going through the bereavement process - a state which can take some years to accept and for others can never be resolved. When I take time to look back, I sometimes wonder how we ever got through the day. No time for self-indulgence, as we were still faced with a beautiful little boy to care for and love, but the struggle to avoid bursting into tears continually and the sheer effort to face the day was overwhelming. Michael is now eight and as a family, we have definitely moved on, albeit down a very different path to the one that we expected. Normality has gone out of the window and is classed as 'boring' in our household! Traumas which others would be flapping about are path of the course which in themselves have lead us to have a massive appreciation of all the little things that are otherwise taken for granted.

Despite this, have I really accepted the fact that our son and now our daughter do not fit into the normal mould of society - a fact which is inevitably going to make their lives pretty difficult at times? The honest answer is no. not really and I don't know whether I really can. Feelings of anger, guilt and injustice are still overwhelming at times all compounded by the sheer frustration that there is nothing that I can do about it. One way that I have managed to cope with these feelings is to completely pack out my days, not giving me time for thought or anger. As well as bringing up two children with complex special needs, running a house and all the usual stuff, I have also in the past year done an OU course, been a befriender for Face 2 Face, volunteered two days a week at Michael's school, helped with the RDA and done a 17 week Webster Stratton course! Oh, and running this web site! Not until the school holidays started, and everything was put on pause, did I realise how busy I had been, how some things such as Special Families had suffered due to overstretching and how much I had been burying my head in the sand. Hate to say it but the holidays were a welcome rest and allowed me a great chance to reassess.

Anyway, the kids are back to school (how quiet is the house!) and things in my life have been significantly pruned! For the first time in a long time, I am having 'me' time and even though more time means more thinking, facing up to things is part of the process, I guess. Apologies for the lack of input into Special Families recently, and thanks to everyone who has continued to support this site - things are definitely going to pick up now! I once saw a cartoon in a newspaper that said "I am not sure whether I am running towards or away from something". Still not sure, but I am determined to keep running, whichever way life takes me.